The art of finding out the hard way
by Exploading albino potato
Summary: Near and Mello have always stuck together like Fluffernutter and Nutella on bread...will they always stay like that? Of course not. Mello can't keep the promises he made to the one person in the world who needs him most.
1. Chapter 1

I was we'll past midnight when I felt a finger poking me.

"Nnnggg" I mumbled, half asleep.

"M-Mello..." I heard Near's voice tremble.

One of my eyes blinked open to see an almost glow-in -the-dark Near crying and standing at my bedside. With one hand he clutched his frayed light blue "blankie" around his shoulders like a cape. The other hand held the long ear of his stuffed bunny.

"Nightmares again?" I asked. Near waking up in the night like this was hardly unusual.

His only response was a telltale sniffle, followed by whimper as tears fell down his cheeks.

"Get in with me, I said gently."

The cute little albino did not hesitate when he snuggled under the covers with me, pressing his warm body against mine.

You'd hardly believe that my best friend is thirteen. He is small for his age, and sleeps with a blankie and a stuffed bunny. He has nightmares all the time and can't fall asleep unless he's cuddled up against me. I'm alright with it though. It's actually very nice and cozy.

"You wanna tell me what happened in this dream? Near nodded.

"Was it about your parents again?"

He shook his head. His breathing was audible and ragged.

"Y-you left me." He said from his curled up position in my bed, swallowing hard. He sniffed again.

I had left him? What the heck? I didn't even know what on earth would ever cause me to leave my Near. Why had he dreamed a crazy dream like that...?l I didn't think I could do that. He needed me to much. He...loves me. We've always stuck together like Fluffernutter and Nutella in a sandwich.

"Why was I leaving?" I Questioned the albino.

"I don't know." He replied. "You were just packing things in our room and you ignored me when i tried to stop you...after that I saw you were running down the road...not looking back...getting smaller and smaller..." His voice broke on the first "smaller". "You were...going away from me.." He whispered.

I put one of my arms over his shoulder and the other under his neck so my hand could stroke his hair.

"Well you know thats dreams aren't real" I said softly to the whimpering teen. "because I'll never leave you Near. I promise I'll always stay by your side and be your friend."

And the truth was I never COULD leave him. Or so I thought at the time. He was best friend, and possibly something more...but I hadn't told him that because I'm afraid it might scare him. Near scared very easily, despite the fact that he was a genius, and third place at Whammy's House. He was also entirely codependent on me. I was the one who defendedb him from the bullies who picked on him (or used to pick on him. )Since I beat them up for punching Near and calling him names, nobody has messed with my Near. Nobody.

"I know your here, I know you won't leave me. Still, the thought is so awful..." He clutched the bunny closer to his chest and snuggled into me, one of his hands clutching a lock of my blonde hair.

"Goodnight Near." I whispered, kissing his forehead and shutting my eyes.

We fell asleep like this a lot.

Yeah Near is pretty OOC. It's intentional but it's not for the whole fanfic. In later chapters you'll find out why he gets so emotionless. Reviews are nice, they make me feel loved, but no pressure (translation: REVIEW OR DIIIIIEEEE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH! AND THE. BURN IN HELL!)

Anyways, have a nice day! :-)


	2. Chapter 2

"Kira's still killing, huh?" I said flopping down on my bed after the days classes were over.

"Yeah. He or she makes me nervousness..." Near said from the floor beside my bed. He was staking dominos. "It would make sense to want to kill off L's successors as well as L himself, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah...but how the hell is he gonna get your name? You need a name and face to kill."

"I suppose."

His grey eyes concentrated on balancing the black dominos, and every so often paused to twirl his snow white hair.

I sat up on my bed so I could study him better. Near was like a porcelain doll. So white, so fragile...so beautiful. I noticed how soft his lips looked. When he got upset they would always quiver and tremble as a cried, but not now. Now he bit down slightly concentrating, he placed a domino in just the right place. I had never kissed those lips. Why would I? I was Near's friend, not his gay lover. I did often kiss his forehead though, when he had nightmares, or before bed. Still...the the thought wasn't exactly unappealing...Oh who was I fooling? I really did love him

"Mello." He suddenly turned to face me, one of his knees drawn up against his chest.

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if I died?" He stared solemnly into my eyes, expectingly.

"If you...what?" The spontaneous question stunned me for a moment.

"Died Mello. As in were no longer alive. Just died, right now. "He curled his hair around his finger again.

I said nothing. I was too busy observing the look on his face. Calm, composed...not the slightest hint of agitation.

"I'm waiting for your answer. Its not a hard question for somebody of your intelligence."

"If you died I would be very sad...and very regretful."

"Sadness...I expected ? Why?" Now Near sounded confused.

"Because if you died right now, you would never get to hear me say... I love you..."

"...What?" We both said unison.

"...No it's my what. You're the one who said "I love you"!" Near exclaimed, no longer calm and cool.

"I..." Had I really just told him I loved him? Those impulsive words shocked even me. But then again, had I been feeling this all along...

"Yeah." I grinned. "I love you."

"Really?" Near grinned back. His eyes were big and sparkly, like he'd just been allowed a million dollar shopping spree at Toys R US.

"You think I'm making it up?" I asked.

"I hope not, because I think I love you too!"

In an instant, he had sprung up from his place on the floor and was on my bed with me, his arms hugging around my waist.

"So...what kind of love is this?" Near said nuzzling the side of his face against my chest. "

"The kind of love that... Is more than just friendship...and...that you can only have for one person. I've always loved you as a friend. This is more...romantic..."

"So I'm your one person?"

"Your my one person" I answered "If I am your one person...if I'm not...your still my friend.

"You mine!" He said without hesitation, squeezing his arms tightly around me.

"You're...not scared or anything?" I didn't think Near would be this thrilled and, so...eager, to dive head-first into a relationship with me like this..

"What's to be scared of?" The albino asked.

"I...well... I don't know...some people...just..."

"Mello I trust you." He looked up into my eyes.

I cupped his cheek with one of my hands. "Thank you Near. That means a lot."

I tilted his chin upward, and without thinking (like I ever think before doing stupid things) thrust my lips upon his. It was only for a second, because I soon realized what I was doing and stopped, pulling myself off of him.

He looked up at me innocently.

"Why did you stop?"

"Well...I...I..." I struggled to find the words. Near was so innocent. I didn't really want to take that away from him...

"What? Do you think I can't handle something like this?"

"I...I don't know."

"It's ok. I like you. Will you kiss me again?"

"...Of course I will, if its what you want."

I guess the albino couldn't wait any longer, because he wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing me.

Later that night, my...boyfriend? I guess Near is my boyfriend now, although it sounds strange to say it. Anyways, he shuffled over to to my bed holding his blue blankie and his stuffed rabbit.

"Planning to have nightmares tonight?" I asked jokingly.

"...Do you mind it when I sleep with you?"

"Course not. Your soft and warm and cuddly..."

"Ok then." He hopped onto the piece of furniture and nestled into my blankets. "If I sleep in your bed, then I'll never even have to make mine!"

I shook my head and tucked the blankets around him. Then I turned off the light on the bedside table.

"Mello." The boy next to me said.

"Yes, Near?" I wrapped the cores around myself and moved my body closer to him, but not so close we were breathing in each others faces.

"My real name is Nate. Nate River.

I was silent for a moment. When an orphan arrived at Whammy's, they chose an alias and they were instructed never to tell anyone they're real name, because of the possibility of it being used against them. Near had said he was worried about Kira, so at first I found it strange that he would say his real name out loud, but I quickly realized that he was just trying to further prove that he trusted me very deeply.

"I won't tell anyone. And by the way. I'm Mihael Keehl.

"G'night Mihael." He said softly

"G'night Nate."

Sorry if this is really bad. I'm not a very good writer. Reviews are appreciated, even of they are stupid. Sorry if you don't like OOC Near. Like I said, he will get better.


	3. Chapter 3

One day Matt and I were called to Rogers office. I arrived first, and the redheaded bastard followed, shoving his DS in his pocket as he stumbled into the room.

"What is it Roger?" I asked, eager to know the news.

He had his hands folded, resting his chin on them. His eyes were closed and I could tell that whatever he was going to say would be less than pleasant. I was right.

"L's dead "

"What?" I grabbed my caretakers jacket. "But he was going to catch Kira! Kira killed him right? Come on you have to tell me!"

"Mello..." Roger tried to loosen my grip on his clothing.

"So Kira did kill him?!"

"...probably."

This was absolutely ridiculous. L was our mentor, the one we looked up to for everything! And he just goes and gets himself killed by Kira? How could he?

I glanced over at Matt who wasn't really showing much emotion. He wiggled his fingers, itching to get his hands on his stupid DS again.

"So who'd he pick?" I asked, eager to know who would succeed L and who was just a dumbass.

"He died before he could choose...so how about you two work together?

I bit my lip and looked over at Matt from the corner of my eye.

"That's cool with me." He shrugged.

"Tch. No way. You know we don't get along! I'm leaving this institution! I'm almost fifteen years old now! I'll find my own way. I shouted, and with that, walked out of the room to pack my things.

I slammed the door to Roger's office and stormed up the stairs, stomping my bare feet, although they didn't make much noise due to my lack of shoes .

Flinging open the door to my room, I saw Near on the floor playing with his puzzle.

"Is something wrong?" He asked concernedly looking upwards and twirling his hair.

"I'm leaving this wretched place!"

His dove colored eyes grew wide.

"Wh-what?"

"YOU HEARD ME RIGHT BITCH! I'M FUCKING LEAVING THIS HELLHOLE!"

"Why? What happened?"

"L's dead." I said darkly. Glaring at my love. "I have to succeed him and catch Kira myself! There's no frick'n WAY I'm working with Matt.

"I'm coming with you,right?"

"WTF Near, of _course_ your not coming! I'm going to catch Kira all alone on my own!" I didn't hesitate for a moment to stop and consider the words I was yelling at my Near, who I knew was quite sensitive and easily hurt. While I ranted, I shoved clothes into a backpack I had and took what little money I had saved, only about 20$. Thinking was the last thing on my list of priorities.

My boyfriend just stared at me as I packed, but he sprung into action as he saw me turning for the door.

"NOOOO!" He screeched. Near lunged for my person and forcefully hugged me.

"Back off you albino twit!" I shrieked. As he wrapped his legs around my waist and snaked his arms around my neck.

"Get" I snarled _"the fuck away_!"

He slammed his head down onto my shoulder and started desperately biting my shirt.

I kept trying to wrench his arms off my body but it was like Near had developed superhuman strength. Through his mouthful of shirt, Nate was sobbing, and I could feel my shoulder getting wet with his tears.

I growled like an animal and finally manage to tear him away from away from me.

Near didn't give up. He crawled over to the door and clamped both his hands around the knob.

"Don't make me hurt you."

"F-fight me." Near wept patheticly.

"If you don't move _RIGHT NOW_ I'm going to punch you."

He sat there stubbornly.

"Fine! Lets do this the hard way!" "LET'S DO THIS THE FUCKING HARD WAY!"

UI swiftly raised my hand and brought it down heavily on the albinos face .

"AUGHHH!" His hands flew to his nose which was pouring blood and probably broken. I took this opportunity to turn the doorknob and race out of the room.

"MELLOOOOOOOO!"

I panted and looked back at the crying trembling mess that was Nate River, screaming my name and with blood adding to he mix of tears and snot running down his face. I should have ran back and knelt down and dried his tears. I could have cuddled him and reassured him of my love. I would have forgot the entire thing and kept on living my life at Whammy's house happily with the one I loved...but I didn't. I went to go out there and catch Kira. And more importantly, show the world that I was better than Matt.

"MELLOOOO...MELLO! Mihael...Mihael..._MELOOO_!"

Trying not to think about how I was leaving Near crying and screaming my name, I kept running, downstairs out the door, not looking back until I was sure that Whammy's house was out of sight.

-So what do you think should happen next? Should Near go after Mello? Should somebody die? Haha OK I probably shouldn't kill off any characters...yet. :-)


	4. Chapter 4

I curled up into a tighter ball, being December, it was freezing and I only had a few sweaters, my coat, and no blankets, and needless to say, no heat in this small abandoned shack in the woods where I decided to stay.

Running away had been successful, but so far it sucked. I was stuck in this freezing hut with danger of the police catching me at any time. The shack only had two rooms, a bathroom containing a toilet with greenish water in the bowl, a shower with some tiles missing, and a sink with a grayish bar of soap next to it and the room I was curled up in. The room I was in seemed to be for every type of non-bathroom related activity. A small, black, old fashioned stove sat in the corner. There was firewood in it, but I didn't have any matches. There was a bed with a thin green sheet and a pillow that that I didn't dare touch.

I already missed Near. I know I didn't miss him nearly as much as I was sure he missed me, but I couldn't help it. Running away was an impulsive choice and right now I did sort of wish I could go back, but it would be humiliating to once again show my face at Whammy's house...and to see Matt...ugh no i would be disgusted with myself.

I had to do it. I had to beat him. Fudging "doormatt" as I liked to call him, was despicable in every way. He. Wore the same clothes, always a striped shirt and jeans, for multiple days in a row. He didn't wash his hair enough so it was always disheveled, unlike mine. He had an unhealthy addiction video games, and I had caught him smoking in the woods behind the orphanage on several occasions. But what I hated most about him was that he never even had to try. Everything was effortless for him. I had never seen him study. He always wasted his time playing video games. And his was still first at Whammy's. L's best successor. No matter how hard I tried he's always ahead. No matter how much effort I put in, I was always, always second. That was about to change. Or so I thought.

I let out a sigh and once again tried to fall asleep I was aware that anyone who came in here could find me and hurt me or kill me or kidnap me...but I knew I would be useless in catching Kira if I did not get enough sleep.

I slowly nodded off wondering what kind of fate awaited me tomorrow...

My eyes blinked open as I heard the first noises of the day. Metal against metal, and footsteps on the rotting wood floor.

"Ngghhh..." I blinked in the bright yellow light that streamed in from the cracked windows.

I saw a figure sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, cooking something on the stove.

He glanced over to me.

"Hello Mihael." He greeted cheerfully.


	5. Chapter 5

I stared at the man who was cooking. My stomach growled and suddenly I realized I was really hungry. Wow, what an inconvenient time to need food. The man moved his hand to brush some of his fairly long black hair out of the way and I noticed he had red eyes. How strange. He had also just called me by My real first name, which I had told nobody but Near.

"Do you like french toast Mihael?"

"Uhhh...wha...h-how do you know my name...?" My body tensed up as I positioned myself to run the second he pulled out a knife.

The dark haired man picked up a knife. Holy shit. I sprang off the ground and ran, I guess all those years of playing soccer every day had paid off. I dashed several meters into the woods, but paused when I heard my name being called.

"HEY MIHAELE! YOU FORGOT YOUR BREAKFAST!" The creepy red eyed dude came chasing after me, with the knife still in his hand.

"Geez I don't bite. Well, there was that one time, but not usually I swear!" He said to me. That was when I saw that the knife was a butter knife. Covered in...butter. That made sense, seeing as he had been cooking a moment ago.

"I get lonely being all by myself out here. Why not join me for breakfast?"

I thought for a moment. "I will join you on two conditions. One: You tell me your name. Two: You tell me why know my name."

"Ok! But come inside first." Was his reply.

I hesitantly followed him in. He _seemed _nice but one can never be too sure about creepy red eyed people living in the woods by themselves.

"Why don't you sit down...uh...on the bed." He said.

I sat down and looked at him expectantly.

"My name is Rue."

"I'm Mello."

"No, your Mihael."

"Well yes I'm Mihael, but I'm also Mello. Just call me that please. And how do you know my real name?"

"I'm special." Rue used a fork to take the french toast out of the pan on the stove, and put it onto some chipped plates, which he then set on the floor.

"That doesn't really answer my question."

"Really Mello, be nice to the person who gives you french toast!" He walked over to the fridge and retrieved two jars of red substance. Jam.

When we sat on the floor to eat Rue offered me one of the jars of jam, jam but I declined. I eyed him suspiciously as he dumped the entire jar of strawberry mush onto his toast. Well, seeing as I had a pretty severe chocolate addiction, I guess I couldn't have judged him for it.

"What brings you here?" Rue asked me.

"I ran away."

"Oh I see. Why?"

"Are you always this nosy, or is there just not that much going on in your life?"

He thought for a moment. "Both."

"I ran away because the orphanage I lived at sucks and I need to beat someone in this competition were having..."

"I ran away too."

"From where?"

"Prison!"

"Ummm...Great..." I poked my toast with my fork suspiciously, checking to see if it was laced with anything toxic.

I finished my meal and then stood up. I really think I should go now. I can't let the police find me.

"Aww...Well come and visit sometime!"

"Uh yeah I will...it's a nice place...Thanks for the food."

With that I was off, really beginning my adventure this time.


	6. Chapter 6

WARNING: Huge-ass timeskip and lots of swearing.

God what was I thinking when I ran away? That it would be some fun adventure picnic thing? It was all stupid. I had gained nothing! I had become a murder, joined the mafia, kidnapped a girl...and gotten the note book. I had the notebook. Touched with my own hands. Used it to kill off most Matt's team. And then lost it. Fucking lost it along with half my face in an explosion. Well I'm estimating about half, it's not like I have a mirror out here in the middle of nowhere in america. For fucks sake I'm in the forest again. Just like when I first ran away...

"Ugh... My face hurts. My shoulder hurts Everything hurts! ..life sucks..."

Those were basically my last thoughts before passing out, slumped against a fucking tree.

In the morning or afternoon or whenever the fuck it was my eyes blinked open slowly, hell even just moving my eyelids hurt.

Mnnnmmmph...I whined, trying to stand. Staggering to my feet I stood up and clumsily starter to walk, where I was going I didn't know. I didn't care. I was stumbling around the woodland, probably looking drunk, with burnt leather melted into my flesh, wincing with every movement my charred body made.

I trudged out of the woods realizing they were next to the street in the middle of a city, probably getting a lot of weird looks from other pedestrians on the sidewalk but I didn't care. Slumping onto a bench, I must have passed out again because when I woke up, the surface I lay on was not at all a hard plastic piece of outdoor furniture.

It was soft. It didn't take me long to realize I was in a bed, and upon blinking open my eye I could see that the cotton sheets were pure white. I only had one eye to use because the other one was blocked with some kind of gauze or bandage. Lying on my back all I could see was the ceiling which was also white. Being around all this pure whiteness made me think I was in a hospital, well that was what came to mind when I though of an overdoes of that certain color. That or Near...

Ugh Near. It has been Years and Near had just been a childhood friend, but hell, I missed him a lot. There had been nobody else to have a relationship with except the various whores my mafia was always hiring. I'd hardly had any interaction with those women at all, always perching on the back of the couch where they couldn't cuddle up with me. I had thought of Near every night, because the day was too busy to spend time daydreaming of those things, but at night I could remember him all I wanted, recall those soft white clothes, fluffy wavy hair, and beautiful gray eyes...which stared down at me on the bed...?

"Your awake." A somewhat monotonous, robotic voice unnecessarily pointer out.

"Hmmph?"

"I should take you too the hospital soon, as soon as I find out what is going on."

"What IS going on?" I blurted out, abruptly sitting up, wincing with the pain of moving. "Near, is that you? I-owwww" I exclaimed, grabbing my shoulder, which must have been burned pretty badly.

"I found you like this and bright you her in a taxi, after dragging you up the stairs to my apartment I put you in bed and tended to your burns to the extent of my abilities."

"N-near...it is you..."

He stared at me with an unwavering gaze "yes..."

He was serious, and he talked like an emotionless robot. I hoped it was just because the stress and shock of seeing me again, but still wondered if he'd changed over the years, because when I imagined our reunion I thought he'd be crying and hugging me and blabbering about how he missed me and where had I been and all that emotional reuniting stuff.

"We need to go to the hospital now," his voice broke my train of thought. "I'll find some way to get you in whithout really telling them who you are."


End file.
